Kickass, the doorstop dog, says his keeper seems to be a bit on edge these days and when asked to explain black Friday, more or less went on a rant in which he said, “Black Friday or any other day is when you pull the covers up over your head so you don’t have to look at abject stupidity and pretend it is all right. Black Friday is going into the bathroom and not turning on the light so you can’t see or hear the political pundits on TV. Black Friday is shutting your eyes when you walk past a mirror. Black Friday is the inside of a coffin. Black Friday is………” Before he was finally stopped, the keeper said Black Friday was a time to uncork good brandy and toast the memory of the best Black friend he ever had who once cooked up some soul food that included pig ears, which will never replace pork chops.