Kickass, the doorstop dog, says the whole World, including his keeper, seems to be in a tizzy about “alternate facts,” as defined by Kellyanne Conjob. Here’s an alternate fact as it applies to the dog world:
OLD MOTHER HUBBARD—and all of her sisters and daughters
WENT TO THE CUPBOARD—Wash. D.C. and cities everywhere
TO GET HER POOR DOGGIE A BONE—and some decency and respect.
BUT WHEN SHE GOT THERE—with signs and banners.
SHE FOUND ONLY HAIR–orange.
AND SO THE POOR DOGGIE GOT NOTHING BUT A KICK IN THE INAUGURAL BALLS.