Kickass, the doorstop dog, using his unique ability to communicate with all creatures went out this morning to check at his personal groundhog burrow.
Kickass—Where are you?
Groundhog—I’m not coming out.
Kickass—You have to. It’s your day.
GH—Not any more. It’s been turned over to the rats.
Kickass—Rats! You’re kidding!
GH—Nope. The Rats are already in our burrows and we are being deported.
Kickass—But, no Groundhog’s day! That’s un-American.
GH—Well tell that to the orange-haired exterminator who told us we are out and the rats are in.
Kickass—Did he say why?
GH—Religion. He said we don’t pray like the rats and therefore we are being sent to Australia.
GH—That’s what we thought. But what’s to do! Goodbye and happy rats day.
Kickass—Damn! Their shadows are everywhere.