Kickass, the doorstop dog, has the unfortunate job of reporting how his keeper was deported from South Padre Island on “Trumped” up charges that due to his age he was giving Spring Break a bad name. You will not read about it because it is blatant age discrimination, but in a secret meeting, SP officials passed the following: “The herein listed individual being more than four times the age of the oldest spring breaker which renders him unable to drink a 12-pac for breakfast, lunch and dinner while engaging in outrageous/excessive behavior of a physical nature and not keen on music as loud as artillery, is therefore to be escorted back over the causeway by SP police and warned not to return to the island until the Trump fence is completed around Brownsville.”
The keeper was philosophic about it, commenting that the deportation was a surprise, but fit into his plans to be back in Wisconsin for the April and May blizzards. He is also anxious to try out his new/old boat and hopes the ice goes out soon.
Kickass had planned to stay on South Padre with all the feral cats, but decided to come home with the keeper to get one last look at the State Parks before Walker sells them to Stepp’s realtor pals.