Kickass, the doorstop dog, says his keeper is unhappy over his expanding “pregnancy” profile and wants to more or less have a baby. He looked it up and having a baby means about a 12 pound immediate weight loss, which in his case would be a start but he is fast approaching the point where he would have to give birth to twins.
The keeper has friends who are even more plagued by the aging-male biological trait of expanding middles, and if birthing were to be a solution for them it would have to involve litters.
Then there are those flat-stomached guys who never have to give their waistlines a thought. The keeper hates them all and warns them that in the case of famine they will be the first to go.