Kickass, the doorstop dog, says the big news at the bird feeder is that the indigo bunting is back after a one year absence. Using his unique ability to communicate with all creatures, Kickass asked the bunting where it had been and the bird said last summer it got involved in a political campaign when it was hired to pose as an eagle and fly over crowds of people chanting, “Lock her up! Lock her up!”
“The people did not seem to recognize the difference between me and an eagle,” the bunting said, “and I thought they were chanting, ‘Look up! Look up,’ as they admired my aerial antics. I was having a great time until I flew into an invisible glass ceiling and knocked myself out.”
Kickass expressed sympathy and waited.
“I suffered a fractured skull,” the bunting said, “and vowed to avoid Republican environs because they always hire poor people to keep their windows so clean you can’t see them. People like your keeper, on the other hand, never wash their windows and they are so dirty and easy to see that you cannot possibly accidentally smash into them.”
Welcome home, Kickass told the bird.
“What have you got for a headache?” the bunting said.