Kickass, the doorstop dog, using his special powers of communication with all life forms, put it to use this morning as the keeper was doing his morning exercise routine and a large flock of cedar waxwings landed in the big oak outside the window:
First Cedar Waxwing: “He’s pedaling a bike that doesn’t even have wheels! He will never get anywhere.”
2nd CW: “Look! He is trying to fly—moving his arms as if they were wings. But he is hanging on to those heavy weights. He will never get off the ground.”
3rd CW: “Oh, now he is trying to incubate that big soft green egg by sitting down on it and then getting right back up. It will never hatch!
4th CW: “What we are witnessing is the pitiful and absurd machinations of a species that often spends great effort to get nowhere, regularly gets involved in things that don’t get off the ground, and is very prone to making a complete circus out of hatching its young.”
5th CW: “Is there any hope for them?”
6th CW: “Very little, especially the one we are looking at who wants to lose a few ponds but refuses to give up his nightly brandy and wine.”