Kickass official state dog

Kickass, the doorstop dog, in fighting off the midwinter urge to nap, is assisting the keeper in his efforts to replace the American Water Spaniel as Wisconsin’s official state dog with the American Fox Hound, for reasons obvious to anyone who thinks giving $3 billion in taxpayer money to a Taiwanese billionaire (Foxycon) may not pass the sniff test.

The keeper says while the water spaniel is a fine dog and was more or less “developed” in Wis. and promoted as State dog by students in New London, it has a spaniel’s inclination to become a victim of its own curiosity.  The Fox Hound, on the other hand, has “a keener sense of smell,” is “faster in the chase” and has “a musical bay.”

Kickass, however thinks a doorstop dog best represents the voters, and should become the official state dog.  Not only is a doorstop emblematic of the State’s consistency in frequently selecting destructive and narcissistic leaders, since it is made of cast-iron, a doorstop (voter) dog would discourage politicians from kicking it around.

 

 

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