Kickass, the doorstop dog, ever anxious to look on the bright side, points to possible business opportunities presented by the fact that it will be snowing throughout the entire spring and summer. New products needed include a snow blade that fits on the front of the lawnmower, a heated picnic basket to prevent the ham sandwiches and potato salad from freezing, and swim suits with pockets for those little heat packets so you don’t freeze your ass.
Golfers will, of course, want black golf balls so they can find them in the snow, violinists will need gloves when they play outdoor concerts, and the bows of canoes will have to be equipped with ice-breaking blades.
Kickass plans to amp up his napping schedule and thus will need a higher powered heating pad, and maybe a little spiking of something stimulating in his water dish. He tries to think “this too shall pass” but this last April blizzard is making him wonder if maybe the weather is being regulated by the cats.