Kickass shaping up prayer

Kickass, the doorstop dog, notes that the keeper is the very last one to give any advice on praying, as inexperienced as he is.  But being incredible unqualified to do a thing has never stopped him before and it won’t on this bright April morning that is set aside for the weekly pro-bowl of praying.

Taking something of a cue from what happened to the House of Rep. chaplain/priest after he prayed that the poor be considered in any tax plan—he was fired by Speaker Ryan, the keeper suggests that prayer leaders forget mentioning things like fairness, charity, and decency and go directly to the kind of prayer requests as expressed in Mark Twain’s war prayer:

“O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with their little children to wander…….”

 

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