Kickass goes bum sniffing

Kickass, the doorstop dog, dislikes confessing to lapses in judgment, but feels it is his duty to report on his misfortune when he responded to a recent government ad for a “Bum-sniffing dog.”  It just sounded like something Kickass, was very experienced at and an application was immediately submitted and promptly approved.

After a brief bum-sniffing familiarization period that included tours of the Wis. governor’s mansion, the Janesville environs of Paul Ryan and the offices of the Attorney General, Kickass was sent to Washington DC for advance training and that is where the trouble set in.  It seems that back in the Kickass ancestry there is some English Pointer blood, and as Kickass was patrolling in the area of the White House, that blood rose to the surface causing him—Kickass to lock up on a bum-sniffing point on a strange orange creature who was shouting, “Never mind the domestic bomb terror I have caused, I’m calling out the Army to defend against those poor struggling immigrants who are only a thousand miles from our border.”

Given the abject stupidity of this shouting and the ability of Kickass to snap out of his locked-up point, Kickass was finally able to resign from his official bum-sniffing duties and return to his normal function of doing absolutely nothing while narcissistic fat-cats collapse the world around him.

 

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