Kickass eliminates Thanksgiving

Kickass, the doorstop dog, agrees with the keeper that time flies past with increasing speed; and holidays, like Thanksgiving, do nothing more than force us to acknowledge that what was once a month is now just a couple of minutes.

In his unfailing efforts to improve the quality of life for others, the keeper suggests that there are too many holidays that encouraging lamenting about the cruel acceleration of the passage of time.  He is further suggesting that all existing holidays be banned and that each person be allotted one holiday per year on a day of their choosing and that includes an appropriate activity—binge eating, gift giving, egg hunting, watching a rodent see its shadow, kissing while eating pieces of heart-shaped candy, blowing colorful holes in the sky, visiting a cemetery and on and on.

In setting a sterling example—as is his wont, the keeper declares that today’s Thanksgiving has been eliminated and in its place, tomorrow will be a stop-time  day that will include all of the previously mentioned activities, with emphasis on the one having to do with heart-shaped candy.  Depending on how it goes, the stop-time day could become permanent.

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