Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports on a rare occasion of restraint on the keeper’s part having to do with packaging as in a plastic container of ginger snaps that he struggled to open as his morning coffee got cold. Unlike in some previous encounters with plastic packaging, the keeper did not lose his cool after failing with fingers, brute strength and even teeth, apparently envisioning fragmented ginger snaps scattered all over the kitchen. In a remarkable display of self control the keeper used a dull knife to cut through a stubborn band of heavy plastic and a cleverly hidden sticky label and finally—with a celebratory “YES!” he had access to the ginger snaps and his cold coffee.
It does not seem that opening a package you have paid good money for should be such an emotionally charged event, but the keeper remembers trying to get access to a new electric razor and nearly coming to tears at the challenging layers of interwoven plastic that went on and on. Older—very old, State Journal readers may remember how columnist Roundy Coughlin would, almost on a weekly basis, complain about the difficulty of opening the cracker packs that came with his soup over at Crandalls.
It has only gotten worse since Roundy’s days; and taking a cue from the keeper, Kickass says in order to survive this holiday package season, when something comes plastic wrapped, simply hand it to a young relative and say, “Do me a favor and open this.”