Kickass and the speed of shock

Kickass, the doorstop dog, cannot avoid listening to the keeper lament the government impasse over walls and fences, even when he retreats to reminiscing, which he often does. This time it was about Louie Lancaster, the troll-like old codger who helped around the family farm. The set up was a sprawling pasture encircled by an electric fence with the wire returning to within a few feet of the electric shocking device. Louie, ever curious about things, wondered how long it would take the electrical charge to make the mile or so circuit, so he grabbed onto the end of the uncharged wire and asked the keeper—then an innocent bystander, to turn on the “fencer.” It turns out an electrical charge travels somewhere near the speed of light, which Louie discovered as he sat on his ass next to the fence looking at the keeper with a “shocked” expression. The keeper claims there is practical application for his musing and suggests that since the narcissistic idiot in the White House has such a firm grip on his wall, a giant surge of electricity needs to be sent through it, one that will not only knock him on his ass but set his hair on fire and atrophy his privates. Mexico would pay for that, and if not, the keeper is ready to start one of those funding things.

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